Birthing classes

Take one. It’s that easy. I know I have said before that I don’t plan to give a lot of advice on this blog. For this I will make an exception.

Take a class.

I know. People have been having babies for millennia (at least). Why should we need lessons? For a number of reasons, most important of which is that this is going to be one of the hardest things your wife ever does, and she needs to be prepared. She’s going to be a patient in a hospital (most likely – though I think home births are really cool), which is stressful enough, and she’s going to have several people telling her what to do, giving her weird instructions that sometimes don’t make any sense to her because they’re exactly the opposite of what her body is forcing her to do, and all of this either a) while in the most incredible pain imaginable, or b) while drugged.

You both need to know what you’re signing up for.

Plus they’re fun. At least mine was. I went in a little worried about having to hold dolls to my breast and pretend to feed them and what have you, but the class was actually very informative, and provided lots of opportunities for my wife and I to bond, flirt and just be excited that we had a son on the way.

But again, most importantly, your wife needs it. She needs to know that she’s supported. Finding, paying for, and faithfully attending a class for a few weeks of your life (ours was 8 weeks) will let your wife know that you realize the challenge she faces, and that you’re there to help, however you can. Even if you end up fainting or freezing up at the delivery, I think she’d still have it in the back of her mind, “He believes in me. What would he be saying if he could talk right now? What did we do in class?”

We paid $175, and gave up 2.5 hours a week for eight weeks. I’d do it again. I’d pay even more, if I had to. It was a great preparation for both of us. We had a conversation right after the birth in which my wife asked, “Did we even need that class? Did we do anything we talked about?” We agreed that, although we had not carried things out exactly as the class taught, we knew what to expect, and did use several of the tools we’d learned when we felt they’d be useful.

I think if we had not taken these classes I would have been totally lost the day of the birth. I would not have known how to be helpful to my wife, and I would have driven her (and myself) crazy trying to figure out how to help. If nothing else, the class got us to talk through scenarios, experiment with speech/positions/approaches that my wife found helpful, not annoying. If you can do that on your own, that’s fantastic. The rest of us should probably take a birthing class.